Happy Fourth of July

5 07 2011

Today my wife, Bryan, Gabriel and I went with a dear friend and her two children to Waco’s Fireworks show.  Her husband was due back today from his job at an off-shore rig, but he had not reached his port of call.  We missed him, but otherwise this evening was just wonderful.

Until our adventure in transportation.  The city of Waco provided shuttle service from a parking lot near the Baylor University’s Ferrel Center to the downtown area.  Being a fastidious seat saver, I quickly jumped on the bus, and saved our seats using the folding camp chairs we brought to sit on.  The trip to downtown was relatively painless, but the return trip was when the real fun began.

We went to the appointed street corner to await the bus, and gratefully there was a bus awaiting us when we got to the corner.  However, the bus was quickly filling up, so we decided to wait for the shuttle (or mistake #1) .  We were now at the front of the line for the next bus.  I was pretty happy, until officer Jersey boy told us to move across the street to a new line for the busses as the intersection was too dangerous for the busses to stop there.

Well, the line across the street was already two bus trips full and growing. We quickly moved into the line and awaited our ride, but the wait wasn’t supposed to be too long because the shuttles were running every ten minutes.  At this point, I should state that every citizen of Waco plus probably another three-to-four thousand out of towners were in the downtown area.  That meant a lot of cars and a lot of traffic, and the shuttles took near 45-minutes to return.  The longer the wait became, the more I turned to Officer Poppy of the no-cutting in line police force.  Every offender received my judgmental scowl and look of disapproval.  Including Grandma Cutty Cutterson, I don’t care if your sixty plus years old with a couple a grandkids in tow.  You should not have cut the line, grandma.  I proceeded to passive-aggressively chide her to wife and our friend. Of course, sweet Jennifer hushed me and told me to stop complaining, and our friend just chuckled slightly.  Grandma had turned around as was looking in my direction (judgmental scowl, GO!).  I said the crowd around us, “Yeah grandma cutty, I’m talkin’ ’bout you!” in slightly hushed voice.  Hopefully, just loud enough for her to not hear, but loud enough for everyone one around her to hear.  I don’t know how well it worked because she just kept chillin’ in her thieved spot.

As bad as Grandma Cutty Cutterson was, the worst offenders came to the side of the line.  Officer Bad News told a new batch of people waiting at the original pick-up point (pup) that the new pup was across the street.  This group of people immediately placed themselves on the front side of the line and ignored the long line looming behind them.

Justice was served when the first shuttle arrived.  The bus pulled up to the people who had actually formed a line.  But trouble loomed, another bus pulled up behind the Bus of Justice.  The crowd of cutters lingering menacingly outside its rightly closed doors.  Those in the long line secretly (and some loudly) proclaimed that the cutters had better not get on the bus. (Think of the “move that bus”  chant from Extreme Makeover: Home Edition replaced by a “stay off that bus” chant.)  The driver of the bus of injustice did the unthinkable and opened his doors to the cutting group.

I was ready to be indignant until our friend sprinted over to the bus of injustice.  Well, now…umm, I guess we were “rollin’ hard”.  She got over into the newly forming line to the bus of injustice, and our whole crew joined her hoping for a seat or some place to stand.  We got on the bus, and all feelings of guilt assuaged by the promise of beginning our 45-minute journey home.

The truth is the shuttles began to arrive much more quickly after we got on the Bus of Injustice.  Our traveling companions who remained behind in line arrived before we were able to pack our belongings into the van and head for home.

We had a great time.  We celebrated our nation’s 235th anniversary with a bang and a bangin’ bus ride.  Happy Birthday! U.S.A.




One response

6 07 2011
Jennifer Poppy

You’re so funny, Greg! I love you & I’m glad to see you writing.

Your wife

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